Is There A Way To Revert WordPress To Old Style Anger Management – "The 90 Second Rule"

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Anger Management – "The 90 Second Rule"

Today’s edition of the best relaxation techniques is about anger management.

And here’s today’s technique for controlling your anger: Count to 90. The old adage says you should count to 10, but it’s actually 90. After 90 seconds, your anger will disappear if you don’t tell yourself to stay angry. In other words, staying angry is hard work.

You can test this “90 second rule” by reading a fascinating book called “My epiphany” Jill Taylor Bolt. Dr. Bolt was a researcher at Harvard Medical School, “conducting research and teaching young professionals about the brain.”

In December 1996, Jill suffered a stroke that left her unable to perform the simplest physical or mental tasks. It took her eight years to fully recover. In her book, Dr. Bolte shares the amazing insights she gained after her stroke (watch the video below. It’s worth 20 minutes of your life).

Dr. Bolte notes that “although there are certain limbic (emotional) programs that can be triggered automatically, it takes less than 90 seconds for one of these programs to kick in, pass through our body, and then completely wash out of our bloodstream. .” In other words, anger (or, for that matter, fear, sadness, and anxiety) is triggered by chemicals (neurotransmitters) coursing through our bodies. These chemicals dissipate within 90 seconds. To feel a strong emotion after the first 90 seconds, we must consciously choose to continue feeling anger.

I had first-hand experience of this today as I was driving home on a two-lane road with very little traffic. At one point the road turned and another road crossed the one I was on. The speed limit on the bend went from 50 mph to 30 because there was no stop sign at the intersection and it was impossible to see around the bend.

As I entered the curve, a car coming from the other side of the curve passed in front of me, heading into the intersection without slowing down or even acknowledging that we were several feet away from a collision. Fortunately, I slowed down and avoided a potentially devastating accident.

My limbic system went into overdrive. I was furious. My heart skipped a beat. In my mind I was chasing that driver, forcing him (or her, I wasn’t sure) to the side of the road and screaming my rage in his/her face. In my mind I saw how the driver cowered and was afraid of me.

Then I remembered Dr. Bolte and her intuition about anger management. The initial (90 second) experience of anger was gone, but I was literally telling myself to keep it. Why did I do that?

According to Dr. Bolte, “when we experience intense negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, or frustration… (we feel) strong and powerful” (she seemed to be speaking directly to me). She continued, “I’ve known people who have made a conscious decision to regularly practice their anger pattern simply because it helps them remember what it’s like to be themselves.”

In other words, certain feelings are so familiar to us that if we don’t feel them, we feel as if we are “not ourselves.”

Dr. Bolte concludes by saying, “All these years of my life I have really been a figment of my own imagination.” When we feel anger for longer than 90 seconds, we are all “figments of our imagination” and therefore create our own suffering. As I recall, I read somewhere that while pain may be inevitable, suffering is optional.

So the best anger management technique might just be arithmetic: count to 90.

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