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The Art Of Sensual Touch
When you ask lesbian women why they prefer to sleep with women over men, you can get a variety of reasons, but one immediately stands out: women know how to touch a woman. Apparently most men don’t.
Early in my career I decided to explore the topic and learn what it is that women know that we don’t. I wanted to know everything about touch. Not just any touch, a sensual touch. I’ve seen a lot of sensual massage guides and instructional videos over the years, and they all seemed somewhat inadequate. They were very “massage”, and not very “sensual”.
It wasn’t until I attended a Tantra seminar, with a Russian teacher (A Russian? Teaching Tantra? Who would have thought?) that I understood what sensual massage should really be about.
The style of touch that I have since adopted is something I call non-massage, because it feels like a massage, but it really isn’t. It’s a sensual connection and a pleasure system, and the fact that some movements can look like massage is really coincidental.
Most women have never been touched in this way, and the response their bodies generate can be impressive. Many women have told me that they never knew their bodies could react this way; they didn’t think they had it in them.
In the following paragraphs I will try to explain my philosophy of touch and offer some practical advice for realizing it. Don’t worry if it seems a little esoteric or abstract at first. My goal is to first show you the right mindset and only then turn it into a practical tool for pleasure.
The no massage rules
There are four major differences that distinguish non-massage from any massage you’ve encountered before:
No Massage Rule #1 – No body parts
Massage tends to dictate how to properly work each body part and which body parts to use for each stroke.
In non-massage, there is no division between good and bad parts of the body. There are no body parts that bore you vs. body parts you really want to touch. There are no body parts that are suitable vs. body parts you should avoid
There is only one full and magnificent body in front of you, and touch it all without discrimination. The knee is as attractive as the neck and the nipple is as appropriate as the shoulder.
Everything is amazing, and everything is erogenous.
No Massage Rule #2 – No papers
Massage tends to define the roles of giver and receiver: one person aims to provide pleasure to the other and the other does nothing.
In non-massage, there is no division between the person who gives pleasure and the person who receives it. Both of you are doing it to enjoy each other’s bodies to the fullest, and therefore you should both enjoy it together, at the same time, without having to take turns.
This also means that the “no body parts” rule applies to both: one body is used to touch another body and provide pleasure to both. Hair touching skin, skin touching hair, warm breath gliding over damp skin…it’s all fair game.
Partners can forget their “roles” and simply enjoy every pleasure the moment brings. They form a pleasure system, an energy center and a mind throughout the session.
No Massage Rule #3 – No skin
Silent water runs deep. If you aim to touch skin, you will reach skin; if you aim to massage the muscle enclosed by the skin, you will reach the muscle.
But if you want to reach the soul, your touch must be much, much more subtle than that. You just need to feel the surface, get close, but not completely, and slowly and gently get a little closer. The softer the touch, the deeper it will penetrate, until your partner feels the skin and muscles. Even there, and your touch penetrates through all the layers and goes straight to the core.
A really deep touch can create sensation in nerves that have nothing to do with the skin or muscles; they are not near the surface, but you can still reach them with enough gentleness and intention. Imagine that your hand (or anything else really) can come loose and go through objects and reach. you will feel
PS This might be obvious, but it needs to be mentioned anyway: a layer you can’t penetrate is cloth, so it’s always better to massage the person, not their clothes. Ideally, both should be completely naked; anything else can still be pleasurable, but not as deep.
No Massage Rule #4 – There is no time
The massage usually has a start and end time, several stages, and a relatively even amount of time spent on each part of the body.
In non-massage we already know that there are no body parts, but I would also like to suggest that time does not matter. You start when you feel like playing, and you end when you feel like moving on to something else. Between these two points, do everything as slowly as possible, as there is no set amount of actions you must complete. As a rule of thumb, whatever your intuition tells you, do it four times slower and four times smoother.
There is no goal to aspire to, no goal to achieve. The two partners just do what they feel like at any given moment and observe their sensations. Imagine looking at the point of contact between the two bodies from the inside, looking from under the skin; feel the touch of a body penetrating deeply into another body, feel the heat at the point of contact.
That’s all there is to it.
How to do it
There really isn’t a “right” way to touch another person, but my experience has taught me that a soft, slow, and intentional touch attracts the vast majority of women.
Sometimes I tell them what I’m doing and why I’m doing it, and sometimes I don’t, I just close my eyes and play. It really depends on the woman’s comfort level.
I start with my hands until I feel she is comfortable enough, then move on to using my forearms, hair, breath, chest and other parts. I always touch her body in several places at once (for example, two hands, one hand and forearm, one hand and hair, etc.), and I move with very slow, very smooth and continuous movements, trying to make the whole movement into one one long stroke, and not a sequence of separate strokes.
Although the rule says no body parts, realistically, if the woman is not used to the way you touch, it is better to relax slowly and not do anything that makes her hesitate or feel self-conscious from the beginning.
Go slow and go into bolder areas gradually, with slight hints at first. For example, before placing your entire hand over the entire breast, first slide a finger along the side or underneath, on your way from the shoulder to the hip; then a few seconds later slide two fingers across the surface, etc; each time will be a little more daring than the last, so your subconscious will not feel that what happened was unusually inappropriate.
Once you have “access” to her entire body, it becomes especially crucial to forget your own preferences and avoid spending all the time near her sexual organs. Every time you generate some “heat” in these standard erogenous zones, it slowly slides into other areas of her body.
This trick will accomplish several things:
1. Everyone likes their sex organs, but you show appreciation for their whole body. That makes her feel special, and it makes you special for cultivating this feeling.
2. The heat you generate does not disappear, and it does not stay in one place. Alternating more and less erogenous zones will move the sensation all over your body and make your whole body erogenous. Soon you will hear sounds of pleasure even when you touch his hip bone or elbow, parts he never considered erogenous before.
3. Help dissolve his attention and let him really feel your touch. If you only touch on the standard points, his mind may wander and start thinking about irrelevant things like “do I look good?” or “Am I making the sounds he expects me to make?”. When you move sensations into a wider variety of areas, and especially into areas where you’ve never experienced them before, it overwhelms your senses and takes your attention away from thoughts and back to your body and sensations.
If you follow these guidelines and experiment every chance you get, this style of playing will soon become very natural, and the positive feedback you receive will most likely be overwhelming.
No one else plays like this. Now it’s our trade secret
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