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Who Decides Who Makes English Grammar Rules?
Who decides who makes all the English grammar rules and when to change them? I have scoured the Internet for a whiff of a National Grammar Rules Agency or a government Department of Grammar, or a National Language Regulatory Commission, or a federal writing board.
Not a hit!
So who decides? Does anyone submit a survey every ten years? Do them ask questions like, “How many members of your family are grammatically correct?” or “What other words do you not use?” or “How many times have you used it in the past year adoxography or Why?“(Yes, they are real, look at them).
Yes them sent out a survey i didn’t get one.
I think I know someone “they” yes. We have translators. Then there are English learners whose job it is to dabble in the language every day. Yes them they? Then there are the Language Arts gurus in our colleges. Or maybe it is the lexicographers or soft speakers who play with our words and slip them in and out of our dictionaries and word warehouses. Yes them “them”? Or what about people’s books? They must keep new versions of their books to sell the school board on the assumption that the current version is better than the school board bought years ago. Why? Why are the rules changing?
Nope. The rules don’t change. My favorite notebook is one my grandfather used called “Grammar, Rhetoric and Composition” by Richard D. Mallery, The New Library, copyright 1944 by Garden City Publishing Co. Did you catch that date? positive, comparative or superlative. The definition of a complex sentence is (and was in its day) a sentence that has one independent clause and at least one dependent clause. Comma splices happened then like today. Writers in my grandfather’s day even dangled a few partners from time to time. The book reminds students not to end a sentence with a preposition or start a sentence with a conjunction And or But.
But now (I know. I broke the rules – not with just one sentence but the whole sentence. So, tell me. Who are you going to tell me? them yes.) some word maven bloggers and some other word smiths tell us that them is kicking out some of the good ol’ boys. The rules them that is not considered useful or necessary.
They identified seven laws them that we don’t have to follow anymore. English has a bazillion rules. What’s up them come with these seven? And why seven and not ten or 17 or 27? Who did it them think them yes? I don’t know anyone them yes. But I know what them is-arbitrary and capricious. That’s what it is them yes.
Here are the seven rules them keep walking to the gallows:
1. Do not divide an infinitive. Who would ever want to do that?
2. Active voice verbs are better than passive voice verbs. I will not participate in this. This code has been encrypted in my memory’s hard drive. The passive voice will be used in my writing forever.
3. Don’t start a sentence with And or But. Okay. I can relate to that.
4. Don’t start a sentence with “There is“or”There is” Sorry, anyone them yes, this sticks like glue. There is nothing more awkward for a reader than having to scour through a sentence trying to figure out what the writer meant when he started his sentence with “Yes” or “There.”
Is there? Of course not. This is silent.
5. Do not end a sentence with a preposition. Now that’s right them can do without.
6. Always use “more than “ no”over” with a number. Okay. However. Math is not my gig.
7. Data is plural, so verbs should always be plural. So the data is what the data does? Or the data is the data to do what? Yes them said so.
So I guess them is telling us that it is now okay to sometimes split infinitives and start sentences with And or But, and end our sentences with prepositions. I think that them have a real job. Or do them Just wake up one day to the office and agree to throw a bunch of essays out the window?
I can’t find anyone who really knows. However, some very intelligent people say that these changes are real, such as those in Strunk & White’s Elements of Style, 3rd version; the Chicago Book of Style, 14th versionand those Associated Press Stylebook and Libel Guide.
But who told them?
Does anyone know them really? We’d better be on our guard. First them started from silence and without much publicity to crucify a few seemingly insignificant rights. A few language buffs have already taken notice. But what if them start messing with our words, or our syntax? Pretty soon them may enter our words and maybe even our written words.
We need to find out who them yes and stop this crime now!
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