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Parenting In The 21st Century
The freedom of today’s society with its changing values, attitudes and lifestyle changes has made parents and children flounder in the sea of not sure. Constant exposure to consumerism, violence, indifference, homosexuality and child abuse through audiovisual media, has a confusing effect on emotional . Disruption of rights, broken families, broken marriages and unsafe communities are leading to mental and behavioral disorders, suicide, drug addiction and alcohol.
Margaret Mead said “Things happen to our children that should not be allowed.
In previous generations, childhood was an easy transition to adulthood. Children have time to play, daydream and play healthy.
Today they grow childless. Many babies are left in daycare centers because the mothers work or are not interested in caring for the children.
Then from the day before school, children’s lives are led into a tight schedule of schools, competitions, school fees and other activities. Even during the game is a process where the main goal is to win. Therefore, children become self-absorbed and do not learn to be team players or learn how to win or lose gracefully. Sport becomes a time of great crisis, even crisis.
The number of “latch key” children with both parents working, is increasing. Every night the children return home empty-handed, and are alone and neglected all the time. TV or computer as their companion. There are homes where the children cannot see their fathers, when they go to school early in the morning before the fathers wake up, and sleep for a long time before the fathers return to work. The story is about a busy CEO of a company, who is surprised to see that his son has made an appointment to meet him.
He said, “Hullo’s son,” Is there something important you want to talk to me about?
The boy said, “No dad, I just want to spend time with you when I don’t meet you.”
Many of the children who remain with caregivers are sexually abused. In 80% of the victims are family members or close friends. Children are in danger. They believe implicitly especially when they are rewarded with chocolates or sweets. Many times they are threatened with physical harm if they refuse to complain to their parents.
Children grow faster and reach puberty earlier than before. Girls are still developing at an early age of 8-9 years. The rush of hormones during puberty has its own dangers. The desire to try to be strong. Although they can be physically mature they are not aware of emotions, and do not know how to act on their emotions. This makes them vulnerable to abuse.
Many parents feel guilty and ready to take on the responsibility. Some hold teachers and educational systems responsible for the behavior of their children. Others hope that the Church or religious organizations will bring morality into them.
Sometimes parents want to live with their children. They set unrealistic goals in academics or sports, which children cannot achieve. Nagging constantly causes stress and loss of self-worth or likes to attack. Parents need to understand that failure and setbacks are learning experiences. They make the kids decide to try again.
Over protection and overindulgence stifles spontaneity and innovation. The child must learn social and interpersonal skills. He should learn to take care of himself instead of being mollycoddled. An overprotective child will need someone to protect him. His patience and anxiety will be very low.
Many working parents feel guilty. To compensate, they shower the children with expensive gifts, money or toys. Someone said, “Many children have so much done to them that they don’t have a chance to become capable people.”
Such parents also turn a blind eye to their children’s misdeeds.
Rewards should not be a substitute for personal involvement in their lives.
How to be a successful parent in the 21st Century:
• Good Parenting. This is not some old wisdom. It is a process of learning and growing. It calls for a life of patience, self-discipline, strength and faith in difficult days. There will be episodes of despair bordering on despair. Believing in a loving and caring God who gives strength, makes the journey easier.
• Create a strong and balanced family. Home is not a place without problems. Even the best families cannot live in harmony. There is stress and anxiety. Parents should show wisdom in expressing these frustrations in a spirit of love and affection. The concept of dependence – interdependence – independence must be woven into the fabric of family life. Children should feel that they are important members of the family. People who have love and affection grow to be responsible and make people strong. Parents should be quick to praise and slow to criticize. They should ask themselves every day, “Did I hug my child today?” It might be a hug, a smile, a kiss or a pat on the back. Don’t wait to find love. The heaviest child should be hugged. A child who has confidence in his parents’ love will always treat ‘home’ as a shelter in times of storm, whether emotional, physical or spiritual. He will know where to find understanding and understanding.
• Discipline. In every building, there should be clear signs of behavior. The child must know that he cannot fight the parents’ rights. Parents should not buckle in the defiant attitude. This will give children the idea that they can change. Constant discipline will be respected, as children want their parents to behave. However, if a parent has abused his child, he should be careful. The book of Hebrews says that disciplining children is an important part of being a father. If he does not treat his child, he is treating him as an illegitimate son. Parents should lead by example. They are role models. A child learns by imitation. Everything he sees, hears and understands has an impact on his development. Faulty and inconsistent discipline is confusing. When punishment is given it must be specific to a particular crime. This will be registered in the child’s mind as an unacceptable behavior. Likewise, good behavior should be rewarded, achievements should be praised, and the child should not be criticized in front of others.
Discipline should involve training to respect others’ feelings, prevent injury when it occurs, take responsibility for the consequences of his actions. Facing and learning to solve problems is important for growth. He must understand that failure and success are two sides of the same coin.
Parental authority does not mean that abuse or anger is unnecessary. He should not crush the child’s spirit but should build his character, make him follow the rules of love, learn to respect the people around him and make him behave fair.
• Listening skills must be respected. Questions should be answered honestly. Listening is love. He is caring and understanding. Obedient parents understand, love and learn more about the child. It also increases confidence and security in the child. Parents should be proud and positive about their behavior.
• The feelings of the child must be given priority. Thoughts affect every part of his life. He should be encouraged to express his feelings without fear or shame. His thoughts should not fail. A child like this will not only be emotional but will learn to respect the behavior of others. The ultimate goal is to help the child live and work independently. A child is a person who has body, mind, emotions and spirit. He needs parents who know him intimately and treat him like a person. He must know that parental love is unconditional.
• Sex Education. Sexuality is a sign of transition from childhood to adulthood. Audiovisual media is a clear indicator of gender. Sexuality among children begins early, so even at the age of five, some children consider themselves to be sexual. The children are dressed in fancy dress. Behavioral patterns treat sexual games like any other game. A high school student said, “It’s a physical need. Quench hunger with a hamburger. Enjoy sex with a willing girl.”
The transition between childhood and adulthood is a stressful time marked by frustration and a desire to live one’s life. Many parents are embarrassed to talk about a subject like sex. But they should not allow their children to turn to their friends or ‘moral bad people on TV or the Internet, or through personal tests. Parents’ role in educating their children cannot be closed. Regardless of what they see in today’s society, children need to be taught about the relationship between the sexes in the context of marriage. It is the quality of relationships that gives meaning to sex – a way of communicating love, affection, care and commitment.
Questions about sex should be answered honestly with the age and understanding of the child. At no time should it be recognized that homosexuality is a sin, but its place in the context of marriage should be emphasized.
The dangers of non-sexual intercourse that lead to illness, disease, unwanted pregnancy and abortion should be explained. They need to understand that dishonest behavior leads to frustration and guilt.
The role of parenting in the 21st century is very difficult. No one can replace a parent’s love and guidance. A mother who lost her fifteen-year-old son said, “Embrace them with a little happiness and a sense of joy.”
As the Bible says, “Teach a child the way he will go and when he grows old, he will not deviate from that.” (Proverbs 22:6.)
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