How Do I Style My Short Hair For A Wedding How I Escaped From a Killer Marriage Despite Being At Rock Bottom

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How I Escaped From a Killer Marriage Despite Being At Rock Bottom

The usual limits to change are lack: money, time, self-confidence, time, energy, confidence in life and the energy of the Universe.

When the ‘good’ writers bang on about how you can take some steps and everything will come to you it sounds good, but only try it when your life feels like it’s gone what he can do and you live under a rock. .

Or as I said to someone who tried to take me down a peg or two “If you’re going to do it you need a spade to dig me first because this is called faith pressure you see now rock bottom. bottom and you’re looking at someone just trying to move on.”

The bravery almost came to an end a few weeks later when my normally happy mind flirted with the idea that a bottle of painkillers could kill the pain once and for all. and for all. Cue immediatelygo to doctors for support and guidance – but no pills! I saw what Valium could do and the additional problems it caused and I didn’t go there.

When I was faced with the fact that nothing in my life was right I felt completely overwhelmed by the scale of stress.

I’m in the last bad paying job because my parents stopped my education before I got the “she has brains” test points. This was in the mid 1980’s in the UK and believe me when I tell you that if you don’t have money you don’t have a squat at the time, or the time to build a squat!

I was in a marriage from hell with a man that I shouldn’t date for more than 6 weeks and I did an all white wedding down the aisle most whilst thinking “what am I doing?”

I live in a house that belongs to him and his mother that I have contributed fairly to the improvements etc., but was told by the lawyer that the most I can claim is 1/4 of the cost of the house and that and more will go in the lawyer’s fee. So in 1980 I would have committed 17 years of my life to a relationship without debt; my hard earned money for a house I don’t own; my work is all to an end, without payment, without value; and my personal trust in someone he turned out to be more than a little screwed.

My parents are focused on my brother and hate my husband’s wife, my husband thinks less than nothing of my parents’ daughter, my wife is not liked by both and want something different, and my colleagues don’t like it. one of 3. My brother doesn’t like me and his wife makes our life miserable. My friends wanted to know who I was and what I was doing with Debbie (yes I was called Debbie in those days), and really didn’t like the way I was around. And I hate all those I take revenge on. It’s not a good situation.

In terms of health, years and years of stress and anxiety had started to take their toll and I never felt better mentally or physically. In the end I found myself in the hospital for pain under the hips that did not really bother me, with the problem that made me anxious because of anxiety, and completely freaked out by control and neglect.

I got a lot of support from one side of my family, but that meant I cried to them a lot and no one asked “What are you going to do about it?”

But what would that be? No money to pay the mortgage, no confidence in myself to believe that I can accomplish more than doing my hair every morning, working low, dead-end, not looking good all the time , and have no energy to do anything more than lie on the sofa watching TV and try not to get into trouble with anyone – like thatever go to work, i am always Wrong for everyone. As I appreciate someone we disgruntled their place.

Plus the work I’m in is so unique and ‘weird’ in the words of one of the interviewers that the company says they can’t understand what I’m talking about so can’t do it work for me.

Maybe you can see why I feel there is no way for me and there is nothing I can do to save myself. However, that is not true.

I told my doctor one day and later said that he wanted to borrow my husband to find out if there are other patients who are really on the edge of anxiety because anyone can push someone over on the edge he can give me what he sees is my choice in life… and you may be surprised here but remember that he knows me really well.

1. Suicide (but you won’t do that because you are so strong).

2. Walk away from your husband and family (but you can’t because you are too weak).

3. Stay calm, build your strength, learn not to let anything get in your way, and then walk away (and you will do that because of who you are).

I went out and gave it some real thought, and I realized that deep inside I had a spiritual anger that knew I didn’t deserve what was happening and most of the time I didn’t deserve it. what will happen. For the first time I realized that my rock bottom was af**k it trampoline!

I apologize for the rant but that happens. I went close to rock bottom and then I thought “It’s IT, no one does this to me!” and I hit that trampoline and started bouncing back. I’m sure if you look deep inside yourself you’ll find yourself a little angry ready to bounce your butt back out of the dirt.

So having realized that there is a part of my head that won’t give up – no one will ruin my life for me because no one else deserves it – I started to think about what I can do, and here yes. the steps i took:

1. I have regular hypnotherapy to help me calm down, think clearly, and see my inner truth. Admitting that I don’t love my husband and never have was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The idea of ​​leaving it scares me but I know that one day I have to do it and patience helps me cope with and develop the idea.

2. I battered at the door of the office until I found someone ready to help me, and from his employer ready to give me time. I know my husband can afford the mortgage so I know I have to earn it. I did that in 2 years.

3. I work for myself. I have learned to separate my own image from that of others, and decide for myself whether I am at fault. It is not easy to recognize the person I have become because I do not like him but I see that he is not always wrong and blame, and in fact he is a beautiful person in the bad people again. it’s very personal.

4. I received spiritual thoughts and spiritual thoughts, and realized that as a soul, I can create the person I want to be and raise myself. I saw myself as a child and I ‘raised him’ the way I wanted to be raised to be the person I wanted my child to be, and it worked. I like me.

It took me 6 years, which may seem like forever to you, but it was 6 years well spent because it laid the foundation for my future. Even though I’m still married it’s a good place to start knowing what I believe and what I don’t.

I used this difficult marriage to make the best of it and from that bad place I built my future. I use every relationship and experience, every job and hobby, every conversation and difficult situation to build myself up, and every day gets easier and easier .

At the end of 1991 I took my two cats with me on a walk to drop off my clothes and jewelry at a thrift store down the street. Then the bad times started.

I met my now husband and best friend of 22 years and counting and everything was supposed to be perfect. Only after 17 years of telling me I was a fool to be with him my family and all but 2 of my friends joined him completely and cut me off. I had to redo when my company closed the London office, I couldn’t get a loan because I didn’t have a job, and I was homeless with 2 cats.

The only upside is that my first husband took care of my finances, which was great until he ruined it by telling me it was money. The problem is that I trusted my family and they told him everything.

Even though my husband and I were soul mates we had a very lonely and difficult start to our relationship with no support during the crisis, he lived 13,000 miles from his family came by his own choice – a very difficult one – and there was no support anywhere. . He left his country hurt and desperate to escape from the life he had, I’m upset because I’ve lost my whole life other than an unhappy marriage, and we both can’t resist.

I landed on another doctor who didn’t give me the pills, he gave me support, and it took 6 months to figure out the final stress. However, he told me something that I don’t remember, and this is what I want to tell you about three things, before telling you that when you see me say something possibledone you will know that I have done it; second to let you know that someone who is as low as you can fight; but more important to share these words:

If you are as little as possible and yet you are still struggling you are nott is not strong you are strong. Weak people burst into tears when they broke a finger and someone came to save them immediately. If someone hits rock bottom they do so because they are so strong they take a very long time before they finally break.

A strong person can bounce back and build the life of their dreams given time and determination, and you have both.

Don’t give up!

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