How Do I Get The Old Style Volume Control Back A Most Pimped Cruise! – How I Learned to Love Long Lines, Open My Wallet & Get With the Program

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A Most Pimped Cruise! – How I Learned to Love Long Lines, Open My Wallet & Get With the Program

Kev teeb tsa – Txawm hais tias cov qub tub rog ntawm ntau lub nkoj, peb tsis tau muaj kev paub “Drive Port”. Tsuas yog pov txhua yam tab sis tus dev mus rau hauv SUV – hla qhov hassle thiab inconvenience ntawm tshav dav hlau, airlines thiab hloov tsheb – zoo li lub tswv yim zoo. Los ntawm Memphis qhov kev xaiv muaj txiaj ntsig yog Carnival’s Triumph sailing mus rau sab hnub tuaj Caribbean tawm ntawm New Orleans. (7 hnub – Lub Xya Hli 24 txog 31)

Kev pib – Cov ntaub ntawv peb luam tawm hauv online qhia tias kev caij nkoj yog thaum 12:30 teev tsaus ntuj txog 2:30 teev tsaus ntuj nrog lub nkoj caij nkoj thaum 4:00 teev tsaus ntuj. Yog li, peb tau nyob rau hauv kab rau pier-sab unloading thiab nres ntawm 12:20 p. Thaum nres thiab tawm ntawm SUV peb sawv hauv kab li 45 feeb – sab nraum zoov – hauv 95 degree nruab nrab lub caij ntuj sov New Orleans tshav kub thiab av noo. (Lub logistical genius tau npaj li cas rau qhov kev tsim txom me me?) Los ntawm chaw nres tsheb mus rau kev caij nkoj tau siv sijhawm tag nrho ntawm 80 feeb – thaum cov kab ntev uas muaj ntau qhov hloov pauv rov qab yog cov qauv.

Peb tau hais rau ntawm qhov chaw nres tsheb / chaw thau khoom tias, yog, peb tuaj yeem schlep peb lub hnab ntim khoom yog tias xav tau. Tab sis, tsuas yog ua ntej nkag mus rau hauv lub tsev uas muaj koob muaj npe huab cua txias, peb tau raug xaiv tawm ntawm pab pawg los ntawm Colonel Klink thiab hais tias peb lub hnab ntim tau loj thiab yuav tsum tau kuaj xyuas. Nws tau taw qhia rau lub dav hlau me me “nqa-rau-hnab-yuav tsum-haum-hauv-no-lossis-peb-stab-koj-niam” ceeb toom kos npe nrog qhov ntsuas qhov loj me, qhov ntim uas tsuas yog loj txaus los tuav ib qho. nruab nrab noj su box. Kuv tab tom xav, “lawv muaj cov khoom siv nyiaj siv ua haujlwm ntawm lub nkoj caij nkoj tam sim no? Yog vim li cas ho tsis kos npe rau ntawm qhov chaw thauj khoom?”

Chaw nyob – Ib zaug nyob rau hauv nkoj peb tau coj mus rau peb lub hiav txwv saib cabins ntawm Deck One. Cov cabins tau dav heev thiab xis nyob – loj dua ntawm cov nkoj feem ntau – ib yam dab tsi uas Carnival tau sau tseg. Peb qhov kev txiav txim siab tsis txhob splurge ntawm lub sam thiaj cabins yog qhov ncaj ncees. Zuag qhia tag nrho ambiance ntawm lub nkoj zoo li dav.

Peb tus kws saib xyuas chav yog Jorge los ntawm Peru – ib tug txiv neej siab dawb siab zoo uas zoo li mob siab rau thov – ib yam li cov neeg ua haujlwm feem ntau.

Tos nyob rau hauv peb lub cabins yog bon voyage khoom plig los ntawm lub tsev so Manager thiab peb lub zos txhim kho kev lag luam Manager, txiv hmab txiv ntoo pob tawb, caw, thiab lwm yam. Lawv tau txais txiaj ntsig zoo heev thiab noj sai heev.

Tawm mus – Kev ceeb toom thaum 5 teev tsaus ntuj tias txoj kev tsheb laib tau thim rov qab tab sis peb tseem tsis tau caij nkoj, ib tsab ntawv tshaj tawm los ntawm tus thawj coj piav qhia tias vim huab cua – huab cua huab cua kev nyuaj siab Bonnie – thiab kev tsheb loj ntawm tus dej lub qhov ncauj, kev caij nkoj yuav ncua mus txog 3 teev sawv ntxov hnub Sunday. Tab sis, peb tau lees paub tias lub nkoj tseem yuav mus txog cov chaw nres nkoj raws sijhawm. Thiab nws tau ua.

Noj hmo – Txawm hais tias peb tau thov ib lub rooj loj rau yim lossis ntau dua, peb tau zaum hauv lub rooj muag khoom rau plaub. Lub rooj muag zaub tau xis nyob thiab xis nyob, tab sis qhov no tseem yog kev poob siab rau peb – ​​peb caij nkoj mus ntsib tib neeg. Tus maitre ‘d tau thov txim thiab hais tias nws yuav sim kho qhov xwm txheej, tab sis ua tsis tau. Nkag siab, feem ntau cov neeg xav tau cov rooj tshwj xeeb rau lawv cov tsev neeg thiab cov phooj ywg, tshwj xeeb tshaj yog thaum lub caij ntuj sov thaum mus ncig nrog menyuam yaus. Kuv txoj kev xav? Tej zaum lawv twb xub tau peb booked rau ib lub rooj loj… ces lawv pom kuv tripping thiab stumbling kuv txoj kev mus rau gangway ncaws pob ib tug txiv qaub ntsuab Vampires nqus! tank saum nrog “Tom kuv” tattooed hla kuv jugular. Kuv paub tseeb tias lawv tau txiav txim siab tom qab ntawd thiab qhov ntawd yog qhov zoo tshaj los cais peb ntawm lwm tus neeg noj mov.

Cov zaub mov txawv ntawm nruab nrab mus rau heev, zoo heev. Qhov kev txhim kho loj tshaj plaws rau Carnival qhov kev pabcuam zaub mov yog nyob rau hauv kev nthuav qhia. Cov chav noj mov tseem ceeb tau muab stylish thiab gourmet nyob rau hauv tsos. Txawm li cas los xij, hauv qhov tseeb saj feem ntau cov tais diav yog ib nrab hnub qub luv ntawm qhov tsim nyog ntawm qhov sobriquet. Qee qhov tshwj xeeb: Chilled Avocado Soup, Mongolian Steak Salad, New Zealand Lamb Chops thiab Chocolate Souffle yuav tsum tuag.

Ntses tais diav, thaum zoo spiced thiab elegantly nthuav, tau tas li ua hauj lwm qhuav thiab overcooked. Xav tias nws yuav yog vim tsuas yog cov khoom siv khov khov uas muaj ntau dua li tshiab, kuv tau pib sim. Thaum tus neeg saib xyuas kev ruaj ntseg ntawm Atlantis Aquarium tab tom nrhiav lwm txoj hauv kev kuv tau rub ib qho Triggerfish uas tsis tshua muaj… Yog, pab qhuav thiab overcooked.

Tsuas yog thaum kuv tab tom yuav tso tseg qhov teeb meem Ntses Hlawv, ib qho kev cia siab tshwm sim. Muaj ntawm lawj tsib… nyob ib ncig ntawm lub ces kaum ntawm lub twv txiaj yuam pov… lub Sushi Cart! Tab sis txawm nyob ntawm no cov delicacies yog tweaked rau yav qab teb tastes. Nqaij qaib Fried Tuna’Cado Rolls tau zoo heev!

Kev lom zem – Peb tau coj nyob rau hauv feem ntau ntawm cov yeeb yam thiab feem ntau yog zoo heev, tshwj xeeb tshaj yog cov loj ntau lawm qhia. Carnival yog ib qho ntawm ob peb txoj kev caij nkoj uas tseem tshuav los tseem siv tag nrho cov nyob hauv orchestras es tsis yog sau tseg rau cov yeeb yam no. Lub suab zoo hauv txhua qhov chaw yog qhov zoo heev. Cov teebmeem theem thiab cov tshuab, xws li hydraulically manipulated theem ntu thiab (ze li tsis pom) cable lifts enables performers “ya” tau zoo thiab tsis overly exploited. Cov kab hauv tsev hauv txhua qhov chaw tau zoo. Cov tshuab pa luam yeeb, lub lauj kaub flash thiab laser strobes tau siv me ntsis thiab tsis ua dhau. Zoo, tej zaum lub tshuab pa luam yeeb tsis ntxiv ntau rau bingo … tus neeg hu xov tooj tshiab thiab nrhiav tsis tau lub khawm tawm.

Cov Loj Yooj Yim Qhia yog ib qhov kev tsim khoom zoo tshaj plaws uas kuv tau pom hauv nkoj nkoj … thiab qhov no los ntawm ib tus neeg ua haujlwm nkoj ua kev lom zem rau 12 xyoo. Ua kom pom tseeb rau cov neeg tuaj saib New Orleans centric feem ntau, kuv thawj qhov kev xav yog “qhov no yog qhov kev txhaj tshuaj pheej yig – zoo li ua si lub Hnub Qub Spangled Banner ntawm VFW lub rooj sib tham – tau lees tias sawv ovation.” Tab sis raws li cov yeeb yam nthuav tawm cov kev xaiv ntawm cov suab paj nruag, kev ua yeeb yam, kev ua yeeb yam thiab cov yeeb yam tshwj xeeb tau zoo heev. Ib qho kev lom zem heev.

Tus neeg ua yeeb yam – Todd Kev Ncaj Ncees pib muaj zog tab sis pib poob peb ib nrab ntawm kev ua yeeb yam. Todd tseem saib nws lub moos – tus neeg tua neeg muaj tseeb. Tsis yog lub tswv yim zoo tshwj tsis yog nws yog ib feem ntawm txoj cai. Nws tsis yog.

Khawv koob – Ib qho loj ntau lawm / illusion hom khawv koob qhia hauv chav ua yeeb yam tseem ceeb yog qhov rov ua dua thiab tsuas yog OK. Qhov kev ua yeeb yam ze-up tau teem rau Venezia Lounge. Txawm hais tias peb tuaj txog 20 feeb ntxov los tsis pom lub rooj zaum khoob. Nws twb tau sawv chav xwb thiab muaj coob tus tau zaum hauv pem teb. Qhov kev ua yeeb yam no yuav tsum nyob hauv qhov chaw loj dua. Peb tsis nyob.

Txoj Cai Tshwj Xeeb – Funniest yeeb yam ntawm lub lim tiam yog Asad, theem hypnotist. Rau cov neeg tuaj yeem pab dawb uas tau sib sib zog nqus hauv qab, nws tau muab ntau qhov qub sim thiab muaj tseeb tab sis tseem muaj cov lus qhia lom zem nrog ob peb qhov kev hloov tshiab xws li … “koj xav tau hnia tus neeg nyob ze koj tab sis lawv muaj pa phem heev”.

Asad muaj qhov qub kaw heev. Tsuas yog ua ntej tshem tawm cov neeg tuaj yeem pab dawb nws tau muab ib qho lus qhia zaum kawg rau lawv … “koj yuav tsis nco qab ib yam dab tsi uas koj tau ua rau ntawm theem hmo no … mus txog thaum lwm zaus koj saib hauv daim iav. Ces koj mam li nco dheev txhua yam hauv vivid nthuav dav.” Tau kawg tam sim ntawd tom qab cov yeeb yaj kiab sadistic cov phooj ywg thiab tsev neeg tau coj cov neeg ua haujlwm tsis txaus siab rau hauv chav dej kom “hmoov lawv lub qhov ntswg”. Screams yuav hnov ​​peb decks deb.

On-Board Ambiance – Nrog rau cov nkoj zoo nkauj, khoom noj khoom haus zoo thiab cov neeg ua haujlwm txaus siab txaus siab, Carnival tseem yog txhua yam hais txog kev ua lag luam tsis tu ncua ntawm kev muag khoom thiab kev muag khoom nce qib – zoo li tag nrho cov kab caij nkoj hauv pawg lag luam loj. Qhov kev sib pauv yog tus nqi qis dua.

Tab sis Carnival tuaj yeem ua phem me ntsis txog nws qee zaum. Koj tsis tas yuav yog lub nkoj caij nkoj kom hnov ​​​​me ntsis tso tawm thaum, rau lub sijhawm umpteenth, koj yuav tsum taug kev ntev ntawm lub nkoj kom pom cov ntaiv tsis thaiv lossis tsis muaj lub elevator kom tau txais los ntawm ib lub lawj mus rau lwm qhov. rau cov kws yees duab tau teeb tsa lwm ib nrab lub kaum os Photo Op chaw nres tsheb.

Cov no ib txwm zoo li tau muab tso rau hauv nruab nrab ntawm tus ntaiv loj lossis txoj kev taug kev thaum lub sijhawm taug kev-txog-lub-nkoj teev. Ib hmos txog kaum ob qhov kev teeb tsa no tau muaj pov thawj, tag nrho ntawm cov ntsiab lus choke nrog cov neeg sib koom ua ke ntawm cov neeg coob coob uas ntws mus rau hauv cov khw muag khoom … qhov twg cov neeg muag khoom muag muag tau tos!

(Biz Op – Ib tug neeg tuaj yeem ua tau nyiaj txiag muag Tus Kws Kho Mob Repellant. Nws tuaj yeem yog tshuaj tsuag rau … tsis muaj xim thiab tsis muaj ntxhiab, tab sis ua rau tus neeg hnav tsis tu ncua.)

Kuj xav tias ob teev ua ntej yuav tawm ntawm Key West, cov neeg caij tsheb yuav tsum tau sawv hauv kab nruab nrab ntawm 30 feeb kom rov qab los ntawm lub nkoj … thiab koj pib tau txais kuv cov ntsiab lus.

Vim li cas CCL tsis tuaj yeem coj cov lus ceeb toom los ntawm cov neeg zoo ntawm Disney? Disney tau paub txog ob qho tib si hauv koj lub ntsej muag muag khoom thiab tswj cov neeg coob coob. Carnival execs, koj puas mloog? Koj puas tuaj yeem hais Fastpass?

Ports & Shore Excursions – muaj peb nres ntawm no itinerary.

Freeport – Yog vim li cas nws thiaj li hu ua “Freeport”. Nws yog lig dawb ntawm txhua yam ua. Cov ntug hiav txwv dej thiab kev mus yuav khoom yog caij tsheb ntev ntev los ntawm lub nkoj thiab tsis muaj dab tsi los sau hauv tsev thaum koj mus txog qhov ntawd. Peb nyob ntawm lub nkoj.

Nassau – Ib qho yuam kev uas peb tsuas tuaj yeem liam rau peb tus kheej procrastination – tsis yuav daim pib ua ntej mus rau Atlantis Aquarium & Water Park ntawm Nassau’s Paradise Island. Hmoov tsis zoo, peb tau tos txog hnub tuaj txog thiab txhua qhov chaw uas peb mus, Shore Excursion Desk, lub tsev so Atlantis nws tus kheej, lwm cov tsev so nyob ze Paradise Island – zaj dab neeg zoo ib yam – muag tawm, muag tawm, muag tawm.

Tab sis peb cov ntxhais txiav txim siab tsis lees txais cov lus teb thiab tau muab cov lus qhia ua ntej rau peb tus neeg tsav tsheb cab mus ua txhua yam nws coj mus nrhiav peb qhov chaw hla dej.

Tito yog tus txiv neej… yog ib tug neeg hais lus ceev thiab (pom) txuas nrog txiv neej. Nrog kev luag nyav ib mais dav, lub qhov ncauj puv ntawm cov hniav nyiaj hniav kub thiab lub thawv ntim pob nrog sub-woofer nyob tom qab ntawm nws lub tsheb Toyota mini-van, nws tau raug ntaus nrog peb cov neeg muaj hnub nyoog 18 xyoo. Lub caij no, kuv tab tom sim lub qhov rooj van kom paub tseeb tias lawv tuaj yeem raug xauv thiab xauv los ntawm sab hauv.

Txhawm rau ntxiv rau kuv qhov kev ntxhov siab, thaum saib xyuas los ntawm txoj kev rov qab ntawm Nassau hauv Oddjob txoj kev caij tsheb thauj mus los, kuv tus poj niam tab tom flashing ib puag ncig ntau pua nyiaj hauv cov nyiaj ntsuab – maj mam suav tag nrho tawm – txoj cai nyob rau hauv qhov qhib rau txhua tus pom – xyuas kom peb muaj txaus them rau cov bootleg water park hla nws yuav tau qhab nia rau peb. (Tito qhia meej tias nws tsis tau siv yas.)

Lub caij no, kuv yuav ntshai xav tias “Kuv tus Vajtswv, nws yuav rub mus rau hauv ib txoj kev rov qab uas peb yuav raug rho tawm liab qab thiab nyiag txhua yam … ntawm rab phom … thiab sab laug.” (Kev tub sab yuav muaj sia nyob … tab sis kuv tsis muaj tshuaj txaus rau kev taug kev rov qab los ntawm Straw Market … liab qab.)

Tom qab ntau lub xov tooj furtive thiab ib txoj kev rov qab sib tham nrog cov neeg ua haujlwm hauv av hauv zos, peb tau hla … thiab Tito muaj peb cov nyiaj ntsuab. Miraculously, peb tsis tau teeb tsa ib qho kev dag ntxias ntawm qhov nkag mus rau Aquarium / Water Park.

Key West – Tuaj txog ntawm no txhais tau tias yuav khoom ntau dua, nrog rau pheej yig lossis dawb Internet thiab xov tooj ntawm tes txuas. Koj tuaj yeem txuas los ntawm lub nkoj lub cev tab sis nws yog ib txoj hauv kev kim heev los pub koj tus cwj pwm Facebook.

Peb booked lub parasailing excursion, uas yog ib tug hoot. Qhov chaw tawm mus tsuas yog taug kev luv luv hla lub pier ntawm lub nkoj.

Hiav txwv hnub – Peb txaus siab rau peb lub sijhawm ntawm lub lawj, lub pas dej, dej swb thiab JumboTron (cov yees duab loj loj sab nraum zoov). Yog lawm, Agnes, koj li tau txais txoj hauv kev nrog cov menyuam yaus thiab mus rau hauv cov dej loj loj. Nws yog ib qho zoo siab heev. Tshwj xeeb tshaj yog cia li nres nyob rau hauv dej trough nyob rau hauv qab. Kuv tsis tu ncua peb hnub tom qab ntawd.

Nqe Lus Nug – Leej twg tau txiav txim siab dab tsi tshwm sim ntawm lub nkoj loj JumboTron? Qee lub sij hawm nws tau nthuav tawm kev lag luam rau Carnival lossis playbacks ntawm highbrow fare xws li Cov plaub hau Chest Contest – qee zaum ua yeeb yaj kiab lossis kev hais kwv txhiaj video – tab sis txhua txhua tag kis nws tau hloov mus rau lub chaw TV hauv zos tawm ntawm Denver. (Denver?) Kuv pheej nrhiav ib ncig ntawm lub chaw taws teeb tswj loj heev.

Lub Spa – Hnub kawg ntawm kev caij nkoj, kuv tus poj niam tau booked kuv rau qhov kawg makeover – lub ntsej muag hydrating nrog tag nrho lub cev massage. Kev lees paub, nws tau ua rau kuv saib zoo rau rau rau yim lub lis piam qis dua ob peb teev. Tab sis, zoo li cov neeg txom nyem cov neeg raug tsim txom ntawm hypnotist, thaum kuv ntsia hauv daim iav tag kis sawv ntxov … muaj kev rov qab los ntawm kuv yog tus paub txog 63-xyoo-laus catcher lub mitt nrog pob ntseg. kuv qw heev.

Xaus -Txhua yam nws yog kev caij nkoj zoo thiab zoo siab txais tos hloov pauv. Kuv puas yuav caij nkoj ntawm Carnival dua? Yog, twv yuav raug hu. Kuv yuav ua dab tsi txawv lwm zaus? Yog, ob peb yam. Ua ntej, kuv xav kom tau txais lub rooj loj ntawd rau yim lossis ntau dua hauv chav noj mov – peb tsuas yog muaj kev lom zem ntau dhau los sib pauv lus dag nrog cov neeg tshiab peb yuav tsis pom dua. Qhov thib ob, kuv yuav nco ntsoov book ob lossis peb qhov kev nyiam tshaj plaws ntawm ntug hiav txwv ua ntej. Thiab thaum kawg, peb yuav tsum tau rov qab los ntawm peb qhov kev ua txhaum cai me ntsis. Auj, Kuv kuj tseem yuav nqa ib rooj plaub ntawm tus kws yees duab Repellant. – LEC

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